You Deserve It - What Does That Really Mean?

Last week, we reframed:

“I’ll never be able to afford a home.”

into: “Buying a home may take longer or look different than I expected. What choices could help me move closer to that goal?”

This week, let’s look at another common money story:

“We work hard. We make good money. We should be able to afford this. We deserve it.”

Wow - that was a mouthful. 😂

You get the drift. These phrases are all part of the story we tell ourselves about working hard, earning a good income, and what that should mean we can afford.

I remember saying to my husband - more than once:

“We make a great income. How are people affording all these big vacations?”

Friends were traveling, and social media was showing me one beautiful destination after another.

For me, seeing those posts can be emotionally exhausting. Suddenly, it feels as if everyone is traveling except me.

I have a friend whose family takes incredible-looking trips every year. I remember thinking, Wow, I can only afford a trip like that every few years.

Then I learned more about their trips.

His wife planned everything herself, and their travel style was different from ours. Their trips cost significantly less than the vacations I was trying to plan.

You couldn’t see any of that in the social media posts.

The pictures were only snapshots. They didn’t show the planning, costs, priorities, or choices behind the trip.

That conversation reminded me that we often compare what we can afford with what someone else appears to be able to afford - without knowing their income, priorities, spending, or the full story behind the picture.

There was also something I couldn’t see clearly about my own situation at the time.

We were choosing to fund our kids’ college education instead of taking big vacations every year. That choice wasn’t right or wrong - it reflected what we valued and wanted our money to do during that season.

Another family may value travel and choose a different approach to paying for college. Their decision can still be right for them.

For us, funding college meant the bigger vacations happened every few years.

Now our kids have finished college and are financially independent. Because of decisions we made years ago, we’re in a different season - and we’re taking trips every year.

Looking back 15 years later, I can see what I couldn’t see then:

A good income doesn’t allow us to fund every priority at the same time.

Our money was already doing something important to us.

We weren’t saying no to travel forever. We were balancing what we wanted to enjoy then with what we wanted for our future selves.

So, what if we reframed the story?

“We work hard and have a good income. We deserve to enjoy some of our money today AND feel confident about our financial future. Does this decision support both?”

This reframe doesn’t automatically mean saying no.

You may take the vacation, buy the car, or complete the home project.

The difference is that you’re making the decision based on your full financial picture and what matters most to you - not someone else’s snapshot.

Enjoying your money and being intentional aren’t opposites.

Both can be true.

Try this

The next time you hear yourself say, “I deserve it,” pause and ask:

“What else do I deserve?”

Maybe the answer is:

• Peace

• Flexibility

• Fewer payments

• More savings

• Confidence about the future

  
  

That one question widens the conversation beyond the purchase in front of you.

You deserve enjoyment today AND choices tomorrow.

Next week, we’ll reframe another emotional money story:

“My kids will miss out if I say no.”

If you’d like help understanding how your mindsets and beliefs may be influencing your money decisions, let’s chat.

In your corner,

Liz